I apologise for the awful pun in the title.

Last Monday was an interesting day. But first, I’m going to mention the players in this little drama…

I’ve mentioned some of them by name in previous entries, but not explained who’s who.

First off there’s Kerry Jones, Sales Manager. As far as I can tell this is one step up the corporate ladder from the Crest Nicholson employees who spend their time on site sat in temporary buildings trying to sell you the houses in the first place.

Then there’s Jeanette Kisby. Works in the same office as Kerry, and according to Kerry; “Jeanette is a Sales Administrator handling calls, e-mails etc into our Sales Office. Jeanette is not directly looking after this transaction.”

Nikki [mumble] — possibly in the same sort of role as Jeanette, although I got the impression on the phone that she’s the office receptions.

Helen Watts — another Sales Manager (I think). Certainly at the level to handle things when Kerry’s not around.

Sarah Jones is Kerry’s boss, signing her e-mails as “Sales and Marketing Director”. I started corresponding with her after I sent an e-mail to Kerry answering several questions they had, and Kerry replied to it, quoting it, and asking me the same questions. I have difficulties dealing with people are incapable of reading basic English…

Steve Driscoll is responsible for the work carried out on the site. At least, when I’ve been pointing out the bits that haven’t been finished he’s the one taking the notes and explaining when they’ll have people available to finish.

Darren Wright is a “Build Executive”. I’m not entirely sure what that entails, but I met him, along with Steven Driscoll, on June 29th after Crest had spectacularly failed to carry out agreed work to an agreed deadline.

With that out of the way, cast your mind back to last Monday. I don’t know what you had planned, but I was going off to the house at 11.30 to meet Steve and make sure that Crest Nicholson had carried out the work they’d agreed. Crest Nicholson had already failed to show for a meeting at the house on the 16th.

Originally they’d said this work would all be complete by the 24th of June. Then they said the 5th July. Then the 8th July. Then the 29th July. As you can see, actually meeting a date is not Crest’s strong point.

Anyway, Kerry had told me on the 20th that there were only two items left from the original 140+ list of things, so I was hopeful that we might be making some progress.

I met Steve at the house, with Helen turning up a little later (Kerry’s on holiday), and we proceeded to walk through the house checking everything. Here’s the final list.

• Overpaint on lights in downstairs WC to be cleaned off
• Balusters and handrail undersides of bannisters to be touched up and cleaned of overpainting
• Draught strip to be fitted to lounge garden doors
• Seals to be fitted to both windows in the master bedroom [*]
• Right hand screw on dishwasher handle is still loose and must be tightened
• 3rd window from right in “conservatory” has wedge in the bottom of the frame which must be removed and made good
• Standing water in the conservatory guttering. Clean out and adjust falls
• Decoration around sockets in the study is poor - bare plaster is visible. Remove sockets, repaint, re-fix sockets
• Bedroom 4 fire door to be made to self-close
• Matching non-lockable window handles to be fitted to window in bedroom 4 to match those in bedroom 5 [*]

[*] indicate the two items that Crest considered to be incomplete.

So that’s a total of 10 items, all of which were on the list that Crest Nicholson had (so these aren’t new issues that we’ve discovered, these are issues that Crest knew about and had committed to fix). It’s not even like they’re hard to test, or they’re terribly subjective.

Anyway, we finish inspecting the house, which takes about 90 minutes, and start discussing compeletion dates (both for the work, and for the contract).

Now, it’s my belief at this point that the contract (a copy of which is lodged with my solicitor, ready for exchange) requires completion “on dates”. This means that the contract specifies a date on which completion takes place, agreed prior to exchange. I’ve asked Crest Nicholson for this at various points through the process, and my solicitors have a letter from Crest’s solicitors listing two possible dates in August for completion.

But at this point we haven’t agreed on an actual date. Without that, as far as I’m aware, we can’t exchange contracts.

Knowing this, and knowing that Crest Nicholson are anxious to exchange contracts (as am I, going up and down the M1 every weekend is starting to lose its initial thrill) I ask the Crest representatives at the house (that’s Steve and Helen) to get back to me as soon as possible with a date for which, bearing in mind the 10 items still outstanding, it is reasonable to complete. I make it very clear that it’s my understanding that the current contracts aren’t in a state where we can exchange (because of the lack of a completion date)

I also point out that, due to work commitments, if I haven’t heard from them by about 3.30pm that day then it’s going to be very unlikely that I’ll be able to instruct my solicitors to exchange contracts by the end of the day.

They agree, and confirm that if I don’t have a completion date from Crest Nicholson that day then the contracts can’t be exchanged. I stress this point several times, and we’re all completely clear on this fact. Steve says he thinks he can get in touch with dates by about 2.30 that day, so I make sure they’ve both got the landline phone number that I’ll be on.

So, I head off, and wait to hear from them. Thinking that it’s probably not a good idea for this to be left solely to these two I send the following e-mail at 2.15.

To: Sarah Jones
Subject: Confirming exchange today

Sarah,

I’m writing to confirm that exchange of contracts for X Xxxxxxxxx Xxxxx should be happening today, subject to the following.

There are 10 outstanding issues at the property which Crest is undertaking to resolve. The only concern at the moment is when those issues will be resolved by. I am waiting to hear from Crest by phone (to xxxxx xxx xxx) or e-mail with the date on which they will be resolved. Once that’s done, exchange can go ahead, with completion set for the Wednesday following the week in which the work is completed. I’ll be instructing Pictons accordingly once I’ve heard from Crest.

I am expecting to hear from Crest about this some time between 2.30 and 3.30. After 3.30 I won’t be available as I’ll be at work. So it’s vital that I’m contacted before then in order to enable exchange to happen today.

Steve and Helen, who I met earlier today, are fully aware of this.

That seems to be fairly self explanatory.

Steve calls at 2.36 to say that he’s still waiting to hear back from his suppliers to confirm the availability of the gaskets and handles that are needed to complete some of the work, and that he’ll get back to me later that day. I tell him that that means we don’t have a completion date for the contract, and he’s aware of that.

That’s the last that I’ll hear from Steve or Helen. Anticipating that, I drop this note off to Sarah at 14.41:

To: Sarah Jones
Subject: Further update on X Xxxxxxxxx Xxxxx

I’ve just had a phone call from Steve Driscoll. He tells me that at this time he can not commit to a date by which all the work at the property will be complete, as he doesn’t know when certain items will become available.

He’s also not certain that he will have this information by 3.30pm today.

Perhaps you could call me, xxxxx xxx xxx, and we can discuss what needs to happen so that contracts can be exchanged today.

That doesn’t elicit any response either. So, at 3.21 I call Crest Nicholson’s Chiltern office and leave a message for Sarah with Nikki, asking her to contact me as soon as possible.

Nothing. So I send the following to Teresa at Pictons, and copy Sarah.

To: Teresa Smith
Cc: Sarah Jones
Subject: Re: X Xxxxxxxxx Xxxxx

Teresa,

[ copied to Sarah Jones @ Crest ]

No news from Crest. I’m shortly going to be on a conference call that means they won’t be able to reach me by phone — they’ve been told this in person when I met with them earlier today, and by e-mail.

I’ve sent three e-mails to Sarah Jones who is the Sales and Marketing Director at Crest that I was dealing with at the tail end of last week, to no avail. I’ve also tried calling, and left a message for her to get back to me as a matter of urgency (so I know she’s in the office). So far, nothing.

Please could you inform Crest’s solicitors that exchange is now waiting on Crest to provide me with a date on which they wish to complete. I’ve suggested the 3rd or the 10th August.

If Crest can’t provide this today then we can’t exchange today (I’m assuming you can’t exchange contracts without specifying a completion date).

Just after I hit Send Teresa calls me, and I run through the above on the phone with her, finishing at about 3.40. Since there’s not much more I can do, I join my business conference call, finishing at about 5.15.

Checking my e-mail one last time I see this from Sarah Jones (which she didn’t send until 4.30pm, well after I’d told them I wouldn’t be available).

From: Sarah Jones

The terms on which Crest is able to exchange contracts was discussed at this morning’s meeting ie the works will be carried out as agreed but Crest cannot supply a precise guaranteed date by which this will be done. As discussed, Crest cannot offer guarantees when there is total dependence on a third party.

I have been appraised of the nature of the works outstanding and would confirm that none are of a nature to hold up your exchange. Crest has been most patient with this transaction, having been running since the 30th April. If you wish to proceed to purchase plot X Xxxxxxxxx Xxxxx, I would respectfully request exchange of contracts by return.

As discussed and corresponded, failure to exchange contracts today will result in a request to return papers thereby terminating this transaction.

I leave matters, therefore, in your hands.

That sounds rather definitive…