The inspection day has finally arrived, and this morning I set out fully equipped with my notebook (to record any snags), tape measure (to prepare for bathroom mirrors, curtain poles etc.), and Pampers (in case the excitement became too much for me again). My joy quickly turned to pain, however, as I arrived to the greeting of “…oh, Mr Williamson…I’ve been trying to call you.” It turns out that I had been called one hour before my appointment to delay the inspection yet again, this time to Wednesday – a mere 2 days before completion. Besides the fact that I currently live 2 hours away from site so a cancellation at 1 hour’s notice wasn’t exactly practical, I wasn’t willing to see the ‘finished’ article only 48 hours before completion. The inspection was going ahead.

Norman Marsh, professional new build inspector from New Build Inspections, met me on site and we were soon joined by the site manager whose name I cannot remember and will not even attempt to guess (you’ll see why I point this out at the end of my entry). “Pleased to meet you Mr Williamson, and pleased to meet you too, Norman,” said the site manager as he introduced himself (again, you’ll see why I point this out at the end of my entry). The initial pre-amble warned that he had not been able to perform his own snagging survey, so he would be doing that during the inspection. We walked over to the plot where Norman quickly set to work while I remained with the site manager for our snagging inspection.

First impressions count for a lot, and while I was very pleased with our shiny new kitchen I certainly didn’t expect that there would be no appliances fitted. “They’re being installed tomorrow, don’t worry,” were the reassuring words. How about our alarm system? “You ordered an alarm system…are you sure? When? Have you paid for it? Erm, I’ll make some calls.” Second impressions weren’t working out too great either. Along with a missing shower in our en-suite bathroom, these were the most major problems with the house. While it was annoying at the time not to see the finished article, on reflection it is a relief that these were the biggest problems and they were about to be remedied the following day (or so I hope).

Other than missing appliances the main problems were poorly painted walls in desperate need of another coat of emulsion (although the gloss and ceilings were generally very good). There were also the usual paint splashes on door hinges, damaged kitchen panels, the odd screw missing from a light switch, a few wonky switch boxes, stray mortar on the outside brickwork, and various other small matters. The site manager had been writing a good long list of snags to be resolved, and Norman had compiled his own that I should receive tomorrow.

After over 2 hours of exhausting inspection we had all finished. “Thank you, Morris,” said the site manager to Norman before he left. “Goodbye Mr. Wwwwww…(mumble)…(mumble),” he then muttered to me. As the first of many W’s left his lips I could see he was in trouble by the suddenly startled look across his face. Credit to the guy though – lesser men would have just apologised and admitted forgetting my name, but inventing an entirely new one and muttering it under his breath was a really bold and brassy move. And the conviction with which he called Norman ‘Morris’ was truly admirable.